Where did the time go?........

So when I originally started working on this post this is how it went...... Well I survived my first week back at work and not surprisingly so did my kids and my husband. The most drama we had were the few tears I shed on Monday morning as I had to say goodbye to Jack-Jack. Things went surprisingly smooth and our biggest challenge was due to the abundance of snow still remaining on the streets and parking lots in our small town.

That was 3 months ago, it is mid April and I'm am now I am just finishing (or starting) this post. The snow is gone and Spring is here. My Maternity leave seems like a distant memory to me.

Getting back to work the second time around was easier. The logistics of the morning were a little more hectic with two, but I had a little more confidence that this time around my husband knew how to feed and care for a baby. Note, that does not mean I always come home to a baby that has been fed and changed, but the possibility exists!

The bigger challenge I have found about going back to work is re-integrating into the work place. I tried to approach the first week with the benefit of knowledge gained from my last return from Maternity leave. Let's face it, my co-workers had gotten used to working with out me for the 4 months. Some picked up extra duties and others have become used to going to someone else for support and other things have piled up and not gotten done.

My approach:
1. Let people know I'm back!
2. Be visible
3. Keep the stories short
4. Don't look for pity

Letting people know I'm back - This is the first thing I did (actually the night before my return) was to send an email out to my organization that I was back. Thanking them for their support and hard work during my leave was the major theme of the message. Letting them know that I was available and ready to get back to business was the second. When I arrived in the office I made the rounds to say hi to people face to face. Since it was the start of the new year and everyone else was coming back from the Holidays this worked out well. This may seem like an obviouse thing to do, but you would be surprised how often it does not happen.

Being Visible, Be Available - The last time I returned from leave I had a harder time getting back in step with the routine of work. My heart was not completely in it and it showed in my commitment to work. This probably isn't unusual for returning mothers, but it can really be self destructive. Not only do you not want to be at work, but the results of your efforts and time there end up not producing results.

Keeping the stories short - I aslo told myself not to overwhelm people with stories about my baby and what we did on leave. I know most people are not nearly as interested in my baby as I am. All those incredibly amazing stories about smiles, gurgles, pooping, and crying that a Mom cherishes may actually be boring and way too much information for others. So I was careful to wait for people to ask about my baby before I shared and then I kept it at a minimum.

Don't Look for pity - Another area I was sensitive to was that no one feels sorry for you after you just took 4 months off. They have been working all that time - duh. The fact that for the first few months I was in a state of sleep deprivation really doesn't matter. Even other Mom's quickly forget what it was like.

So 3 months have past. I'm enjoying my job and being a Mom to 2 boys and a wife to a third. It's hectic at times and often I find I can't even come close to getting everything done I want to. Priorities tend to cut out the nice to do's - like blogging.

Back to work - me AND my Husband

In one week I will be getting myself ready for work. Hard to believe, but my 4 months of leave have ended and it's time for me to dust of my work clothes and head back to the office.

Not surprisingly part of me is dreading this day. I have so enjoyed being at home with our second child, 4 year old, and my husband. We've travelled, played, relaxed, and enjoyed our time together. I think my 4 year old has especially enjoyed me being at home all day. I'm not sure who will have a harder time with me not being around, my husband or my 4 year old. My infant son will miss me the least. Dad will be there tending to his needs and I will gladly scoop him up each morning and at the end of each work day when I return home. His life will change little.

Dash, my 4 year old, heads back to school the same day. He will likely be more unhappy about not being able to spend the day in his new "Bumblebee Transformer" PJ's. The time I've been able to spend with him while on leave has been just as special as the time with my newborn. We've had many hours of imaginary play and fun excursions. Precious time at a precious age.

My husband, he will undoubtedly have the toughest time. He will be the first to admit that me being home full time means he is on "vacation" from his job as a SAHD. His days of sleeping in and the luxury of napping are ending. I'm not sure why this happens, but it reaffirms my belief that by me working, my husband has an environment where he is a much more involved and engaged father. I parent and care take naturally, and as much as I hate to stereotype myself as a Woman; instinctively. The needs and wants of my kids are first on my list and often I take care of them with out even thinking.

My husband has learned to parent out of necessity, and not having me around to step in or tell him how I would do it, has allowed him to figure out how to do things in a way that works for him. Now somethings will never get done unless I do them (fingernails clipped, cleaning in between the toes), but nothing that is terribly important.

Undoubtedly we will have some adjustments getting used to our back to work schedules and how to juggle our routines with 2 children. We'll be late for school, baths will be missed and I'm sure I will be stressing out next week and barking orders to everyone as I try to get out the door.

The other part of me is looking foward to heading back to work. My adrenaline is spiking just thinking about it! So many things to catch up on, people to meet with, issues to be addressed, decisions to be made. Now I just wish I hadn't eaten so many Christmas cookies as I think about dusting those work clothes off!

Maternity Leave - Goals and Surprises

As with my last Maternity leave I had all of these great plans for what I would accomplish during my 4 months off from work. Since I'm a little more than half way through my leave I though I would do a progress check before my time of slips away and I find myself back at my paying job.

During my first leave with our son Dash I spent the first 2 months in awe over having a new baby and really didn't have much desire to do anything else other than take in every cry, coo, and smile of our newborn. I managed to make curtains for my kitchen, but that was about it.

This leave I vowed to get myself moving quicker, and although I still cherish every little sound and move that my baby makes I have also realized I can do that along with many other things too. My original goals for this leave were as follows:

1. Improve my French - Since I am living in the French part of Switzerland I thought I could spend more time studying and practicing my French about town.
2. Spend weekends getting to see more of Switzerland.
3. Read a long list of books I've been meaning to get to.
4. Lose my baby weight!!

So what have I actually accomplished so far? I am just getting back into studying my French and the list of books just aren't getting read. The book reading is probably better saved for plane rides when I go back to work. We have done a good little bit of exploring over the past couple of months. Some of it has just been around town getting to know the local area a little better. We have done some hiking with the baby in his Bjorn carrier and gone to see some sites around the country.

Most surprising though are the things I have done and learned that I had not planned on.

• I Started my own Blog! Here I am. It's a fun experience. I'm not sure how many people read this other that friends, but I am enjoying it.
• I have learned all about Webkinz thanks to presents for my 4 year old from his Grandma and a friend's children. This is a marketing phenomena I knew nothing about, but man is it a great enterprise! They have me hooked!
• I learned how to ride a scooter. I even went out and bought one for myself. There is nothing like sharing outdoor time with your kids and what a better way to do it than riding side by side with them on a scooter - that is along as I keep upright!
• Learned the names of Batman's arch-enemies. More fun time with my 4 year old!

So, although my experiences to date may not be very scholarly I feel like they have enriched me greatly. I'll try to focus more on my French over the next 2 months and vow to read at least one book, but I wont feel guilty if I don't. I'm having fun with my kids and my Husband. That is something I would never trade!

Oh, and the weight. I'm not doing too bad, better than last time, but I still have work to do. More time on the scooter will help.

Maternity Leave - Taking time

Until you have a baby I think it is almost impossible to imagine the importance of taking time off from work after having a child. At least for me that is the case. Even with this being my second child, I had so quickly forgotton the amount of time a baby takes and the level of sleep deprivation that can come along with feeding, diapering, and caring for a newborn. I am fortunate to have what would be called and "Easy Baby" and a SAHD to help out with our son Dash, but even an easy baby is demanding!

Jack-Jack, my "Easy Baby" is now 8 weeks old. He basically only cries when he is hungry or he is in the process of pooping (Yes, this is what the current focus of my world is. As my 4 year old so eloquently observed - Mom, food goes in here, goes down, and comes out poop!) I rarely have to deal with a crying baby for any longer than it takes to stick a bottle in his mouth. Yet there are still days where I am so tired I feel like it is an effort to walk a straight line. For me I feel like I get "intoxicated" by sleep deprivation. My ability to think clearly is impaired. Even with my husband at home, it still falls upon me, the Mom, to initially do most of the caring for our newborn.

Fortunately I have the benefit of being able to take 4 months of leave to care for Jack-Jack. This is the right amount of time for me. Hopefully, by then Jack-Jack will be sleeping through the night and we will have figured out a routine that works for us as a family.

Time off to care for a newborn is allowed for me by company policy as it is for many people. Taking this time off however is sometimes easier said than done. It is one thing to have a policy that says you can take time off. It is another thing to feel comfortable that you can leave your job for months at a time.

Fortunately I have many factors working in my favor;

1. Boss Support - I can't say enough about this. My boss is unwaivering in her support of me taking time off. It helps that she has demonstrated her commitment to this by taking leave when she had her children. It's one thing to have a company policy, but it means nothing if leadership doesn't demonstrate their support of it. It also helps immensly to see women continue to be successful when they have taken time off.

2. Peer Support - My peers can't step in and do my job since they are plenty busy doing their own jobs, but I know that they are reaching out and providing support when needed.

3. A Great Team - My staff that works for me is really picking up the bulk of my responsibilities while I am gone. Having the right people that you can count on makes all the difference in the world.

Even with all these factors I still second guess myself about going back to work earlier, but I am committed to taking my leave. I owe this to my baby and to myself. I also owe this to other Mom's at work. We all need to know it is okay to take time off, especially for something as important as the birth of a child. My work will be there when I return. My career will continue to move on. And hopefully, more Mom's will find a work place that is friendlier to them finding a way to balance their work and family needs.

Taking Leave

So I've just had my second child and I am on leave until January. I took a similary length leave with my 1st child and managed to completely step away from the job the 1st time. That probably wont be posible this time around, but I will do my best to focus this time on my family.

It is interesting to see different peoples reactions to what length of leave you plan to take for the birth of a child.

• My Boss: I am VERY fortunate here. She has two children of her own and took leave for both. She constantly reinforces that I should take what I need and that part of my leadership is having developed a good team that can handle things while I am gone.
• My Husband: Can't believe that the company lets someone in my position take as much leave as I plan to!!
• Co-Worker: "Surely you don't plan on taking any more than 6 weeks ......." Oh boy. This guy has a lot of women working for him too. Definately not what I expected to hear out of his mouth. Comments like this make me even more determined to take my leave and come back when I am ready and be as effective as ever!

As I stated in my profile I work for a company that is reputed to be very women friendly. Although our paid leave policy isn't the best, the culture at least supports me being able to take the leave. It's up to me as the money earner to make sure we saved appropriately to let me take the leave I would like too, although more paid time would be great!

I think this is also something that the US sadly falls short on compared to many other nations. I wont quote any stats here, but many other contries have federally mandated paid leave for Moms, some for up to a year! The federal requirement in the US is ZERO!